ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
you should know that:
I'm not a writer. I'm just a girl that chews on other people's emotions and spits out the feelings on notebook paper. I'm just spewing out phrases with copy write protection and mapping newfound stories across your eyes. I give them titles and genres, I correct them of grammar errors and staple the pages together. Please don't think of this as noteworthy. Because I'm the result of word searches shoved down sore throats and question marks the spot, the exclamation points that hold me up will bring you down. and when I'm up at two o'clock in the morning with Microsoft word as my only companion it's not because I want to let it all out, it's because I can't sleep until I do. There's nothing special about my unscrambled words or emotionally laced poems, this is just my self-prescribed medication and unrealistic dreams jammed under the hood of your car so we know that we'll never go anywhere.
I'm no priceless jewel or rare prize. I'm nothing special. I just wouldn't be classified as average. There's nothing unique about myself, no wondrous talent, but there might be differences between me and everyone else. So put your pen and paper down, dear scientist, because there's no use wasting it on a girl who breathes in fiction. But don't be fooled by the whole, all my little details, all my tiniest flaws are dangerous. Every little bit of me will test your patience and my sticky fingers will push your buttons. And when you get tired of this puzzle you'll find the cruelest way to get rid of my heart's pieces. because I'm reckless, I'm witty, I'm uncouth and sarcastic, I'm the universe that denied your logic because to me in was useless nonsense. and those reasons alone should be enough for you to stay clear of me and respect the skin deep caution tape because if you, my friend, were to try to cut me open and take a look at my insides, my secrets would sicken you.
I have absolutely no faith in us. I have no hope to waste this that is possibility and not fact. Don't expect me to whisper your name while stars fall gracefully, leaving behind the midnight sky for someplace new. Don't expect your name echoing in the bare wasteland of my mind as my memories chant it throughout my insides as the last flame flickers on my birthday candles. Because you and I don't add up just to equal clichés and, in fact, I'd rather wish for something practical. I'm not going to wait for you when you decide you're not sure if you want me anymore. And even though that alarm on the clock hasn't buzzed yet, trust me, one day you will wake up one morning fight aftermath to ponder on the thought. Because compared to gold I'm rust, compared to silk gowns I'm threadbare. I'm an infant of yesterday, a fetus of tomorrow, and a newborn of today. I'm still learning how to stand on my own and I'm still just dreaming about life, so don't be surprised that I'm not old enough to say 'I love you.' but if it adds to the cause I will say that I'm dependent and if it comes down to my feelings I really don't want you to go. This isn't the "tilt your head to the side at just the right angle and go 'aww' moment" because I won't stop you if you turn your back to me. I won't chase after you if you decide to run away. Because my legs won't hold me up so I'll stare straight forward, watching you fade into the distant memories. And my features will be composed as my lips repeat the same thing, "fine, everything's just fine," but on the inside I'll miss you. Because, truthfully, I like it when you hold me and say nothing at all even though I really want to hear your voice. And I like when your skin burns mine and you say you love me even though I've never even said it back to you.
from,
the girl that doesn't
love you, but
whose heart skips a
beat every time you're
near.
I'm not a writer. I'm just a girl that chews on other people's emotions and spits out the feelings on notebook paper. I'm just spewing out phrases with copy write protection and mapping newfound stories across your eyes. I give them titles and genres, I correct them of grammar errors and staple the pages together. Please don't think of this as noteworthy. Because I'm the result of word searches shoved down sore throats and question marks the spot, the exclamation points that hold me up will bring you down. and when I'm up at two o'clock in the morning with Microsoft word as my only companion it's not because I want to let it all out, it's because I can't sleep until I do. There's nothing special about my unscrambled words or emotionally laced poems, this is just my self-prescribed medication and unrealistic dreams jammed under the hood of your car so we know that we'll never go anywhere.
I'm no priceless jewel or rare prize. I'm nothing special. I just wouldn't be classified as average. There's nothing unique about myself, no wondrous talent, but there might be differences between me and everyone else. So put your pen and paper down, dear scientist, because there's no use wasting it on a girl who breathes in fiction. But don't be fooled by the whole, all my little details, all my tiniest flaws are dangerous. Every little bit of me will test your patience and my sticky fingers will push your buttons. And when you get tired of this puzzle you'll find the cruelest way to get rid of my heart's pieces. because I'm reckless, I'm witty, I'm uncouth and sarcastic, I'm the universe that denied your logic because to me in was useless nonsense. and those reasons alone should be enough for you to stay clear of me and respect the skin deep caution tape because if you, my friend, were to try to cut me open and take a look at my insides, my secrets would sicken you.
I have absolutely no faith in us. I have no hope to waste this that is possibility and not fact. Don't expect me to whisper your name while stars fall gracefully, leaving behind the midnight sky for someplace new. Don't expect your name echoing in the bare wasteland of my mind as my memories chant it throughout my insides as the last flame flickers on my birthday candles. Because you and I don't add up just to equal clichés and, in fact, I'd rather wish for something practical. I'm not going to wait for you when you decide you're not sure if you want me anymore. And even though that alarm on the clock hasn't buzzed yet, trust me, one day you will wake up one morning fight aftermath to ponder on the thought. Because compared to gold I'm rust, compared to silk gowns I'm threadbare. I'm an infant of yesterday, a fetus of tomorrow, and a newborn of today. I'm still learning how to stand on my own and I'm still just dreaming about life, so don't be surprised that I'm not old enough to say 'I love you.' but if it adds to the cause I will say that I'm dependent and if it comes down to my feelings I really don't want you to go. This isn't the "tilt your head to the side at just the right angle and go 'aww' moment" because I won't stop you if you turn your back to me. I won't chase after you if you decide to run away. Because my legs won't hold me up so I'll stare straight forward, watching you fade into the distant memories. And my features will be composed as my lips repeat the same thing, "fine, everything's just fine," but on the inside I'll miss you. Because, truthfully, I like it when you hold me and say nothing at all even though I really want to hear your voice. And I like when your skin burns mine and you say you love me even though I've never even said it back to you.
from,
the girl that doesn't
love you, but
whose heart skips a
beat every time you're
near.
Literature
dont write under the influence
Dr. Asclepius called me;
he told me i'm bipolar
(i still say it's luxuria)
My prescription?
Fucking medicine.
Take two pills:
Doctor's Orders
(as if anyone actually
obeys those, anyway)
Take another pill.
One for each time
you looked at me,
then two more if
i had looked back.
i'll take one more for that time you
branded fake
Literature
dear self,
1.
tomorrow is not worth waiting for.
sure, there will be sunshine (with
a slight chance of rain) and sure,
some kid will be smiling, and yes,
life is still
moving
on,
but it's not like anyone cares.
2.
you just want someone to love you,
misery and tears and all. maybe you
could spend saturdays curled up
under the covers, memorizing
the patterns of breathing. maybe
you could count the seconds but
the problem is that there would never
be enough, the problem is that
there's nothing there to love.
3.
no one is listening.
4.
i'd write you a letter, but
you'd never read it. i'm stuck
screaming into my own heart,
wonderin
Literature
dear midnight
my earthy mattress tickles my neck
as i lay down to stare at my love,
but i am not looking over;
i am looking up.
power lines scar her stellar
dark-blue face, and city lights
pollute her skin like a thousand
spotlights on an over-powdered model.
but i am not concerned about
her blemishes; no, tonight i am here
to find flawlessness beneath
the flaws.
and so i gaze—
the stars are the freckles
on heaven's nose, and the clouds
the hair of Venus herself.
i reach up to try to sift my fingers
through her wispy white locks,
but find she is too far away.
a single star drifts across the dark
cheeks of the night, and i fear
sh
Suggested Collections
well i'm just a ripped up hallmark card for losers that some poor sucker tried to tape back together....no one's perfect.
i'd love to hear what your{yes, YOU} thoughts on the piece are. good or bad, questions or comments, all are wlecome.
i'd love to hear what your{yes, YOU} thoughts on the piece are. good or bad, questions or comments, all are wlecome.
© 2009 - 2024 kawaii-anime-vamp911
Comments36
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Overall
Vision Originality Technique ImpactFirst of all, I am not very good at giving critique, but since you've asked for it, I'll give it a try. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" title=" (Smile)" />I almost skipped reading this, but I'm glad I did not. Why did I almost skip this? Because the text is written with the small font code, and the text is quite long. I understand that this might be the way you like it, but it could also be that it scares possible readers away. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="19" height="19" alt="
" title="Shrug" /> Small, long text is a bit hard to read from a screen... Anyway, that is my opinion only, someone else might think differently about this matter, but nevertheless, since this is my opinion and my eyes, I need to give Vision 3 and a half stars - it's not overly difficult to read, but... <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="Shrug" /> As a Technique, the small font gets 1 star - it is quite effective, to arouse people's interest.. "What's written here...?" or something like that! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" title=" (Big Grin)" />Now, to the text itself. First, did you use small letters in the beginning of clauses by accident or well knowing what you were doing? I noticed that you always wrote 'I' and most first letters of the clauses in big capitals, but then were a lot of lines when you did not. (Example: There's nothing special about... vs. because I'm reckless, I'm witty...) Without knowing your other stuff, I cannot say whether this was a human mistake (or Microsoft Word's) or do you use it as something that wakes people up, forces them to read your writing more carefully - and not for the errors, but for the depthness of the text, its feelings. If it was used as a Technique, it gets 2 stars - it did make me read this more carefully! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/w/w…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" title="Wink/Razz" /> And now. Your writing is... amazing. Wonderful. I feel I can relate to it, which means others may possible relate to it as well. I was once in a situation similar to yours: for years I had doubted myself and others, but mostly myself. But then, one young appeared in my life, totally out of the blue, and few weeks after that I found myself in his arms. I too doubted our relationship would last for long, but it's been almost two years now. I still feel sometimes that he doesn't love me, that there'll be the time when he gets bored with me. But then I decided, I'd enjoy this with my full heart as long as I can. There was also a time when I was unable to tell him I love him, even though the words were already hanging from the tip of my tongue, they were there but I was locked with fear, so I couldn't say it. Now I can tell it him so spontaneously it makes me laugh... heh...
*cough* Ahem... Moving on. You use such... metaphors, I guess that's the word. You describe a part of you - a huge part of you - in words that not many would have used, you use them so beautifully. This flows on well, it doesn't get jammed in any part and get too repetitious, like an old broken CD. You move on with your thoughts, finally guiding us readers to the end of the text. Your emotions here... they can also be used as a Technique: I'd give at least 4 more stars, but I'm running out of them, so I'll give another two.~~ Also, your emotions brings Originality to the text - I give 4 and a half again, not just because of how your emotions show off, scream out from the text, but also because of your writing style: the way you've used the words, the order of the text (how it evolves from self-description to the description of how you feel with this person you wrote about). <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" title=" (Smile)" /> I think this is one of the remarkable "love letters" I've ever read. I can't help it but like this text so much. It means a lot to me, and.. I do believe it means a lot to many others as well. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" title=" (Smile)" /> You're a good.. no, I can tell from this one text that you're an amazing writer. You describe yourself in a way that I've never seen anyone describe themselves. It's just... wow. Impact gets immediately the 5 stars: would get more, but.. yeah.
I bet you have a bright future ahead of you, if you just want to. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/h/h…" width="15" height="13" alt="
" title="Heart" />I hope this was of any help. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/a…" width="19" height="19" alt="
" title="Sweating a little..." /> If not, then... then I need more practice. x)